Okay, okay so maybe not a TV ‘star’ but I bet I have your attention! By now some of you may have seen the publicity for Vibe’s new TV programme Starting Over. I also made mention in one of my earlier posts about having a “leg up” to make changes in my life. So now it’s time to come clean.

So the question is – what would possess a 40 something, overweight, uptight, married British Expat woman, with a good career, to apply to take part in a TV series about starting over? Well, to be honest you have to watch the programme to find out some of the reasons why I wanted to make changes. But as for applying to take part in the series in the first place……? Well, truthfully I never really imagined that I would be chosen as a participant. Pressing the send button for the TV questionnaire was me admitting properly that I didn’t want to settle for things to make other people happy or to keep the status quo in my career because it was expected of me.  I was tired of playing safe – it was time to take back control of my life.

In fact the teenage rebel inside me (that I have managed to lock up for most of my adult life), poked its head out and said “Really? –What happened to you – is this it??? Are you sure??”  Once the application was sent there was no going back!  I didn’t really think at that moment about what it would mean to be part of a TV programme and I couldn’t believe it when the call came to say that the producer and team wanted to meet me.

Making big changes to your life is hard. It requires commitment, a lot of thought and work and just because you have the support of a production team does not mean it’s a breeze – far from it. Ultimately the starting over process for me has been really rewarding in many ways and I had a lot of fun along the journey too.  It’s surprising how quickly you get blasé about being filmed (although being filmed wearing lycra was probably not my favourite bit!!!). I got quite used to camera men fiddling with the front of my blouse looking for a lost microphone, whilst maintaining eye contact and a conversation about every day stuff.  Never mind all of the people in the street gawping as the camera was filming.

I cried and cried throughout the process – much to my embarrassment – it was a big part of letting go.  I laughed  a lot too and I now realise just how much time and work is involved in making a TV programme happen.

Looking in the mirror today I don’t see the tired frumpy woman who started the process. I see a totally different    person – someone I haven’t seen for a long time and that feels gooooood!!!

Some people might think that I am completely deranged for opening up my personal life on TV – others might just think it’s cool to be on TV.  As for me, I am glad I did it. Those who have known me for a very, very long time might be a little nervous to ask “what comes next?”

As to that – you’ll just have to wait and see!

The series starts  on 10th February on Vibe TV and you can get a taster at this address:

www.startingover.co.nz/2013/01/alex